i don't like the notion that identity can be dependent on any one particular thing. our identities shouldn't be based solely on our culture, career, past, significant others, failures, present, gender, musical preference, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, religion, victories, and relationships. our identities may involve all those things but i'm not sure that they should define us. is it healthy to be defined by any one particular category listed? i feel like we're always changing, or at least i'm starting to think that we should be changing all the time. i used to think it was a bad thing but then i realized that it doesn't mean changing who you are, it just means growing into who you will become. a lot of the aforementioned categories are transient; there one minute and gone the next. if our identity is dependent on all of those things, then how will it survive when one of those is missing? does it leave a giant hole to fill? many of those things naturally contribute to our identities but my question is: should they define them? if they define you and then they change, you are at risk of losing your identity. i think that you can lose it at least. i know people who lose themselves in their greed, their careers and their boyfriends. at the end, i think the important thing is looking at where you have come from and knowing where you want to go and what you truly believe. the rest just doesn't matter toward the end of your life (that's clearly an assumption but i think, a valid one). i guess i'm just realizing that it's not so important to define yourself all the time. why should i try to stay inside the box i built for myself? why is it that when i do something i consider unusual i say, "that's not like myself." that is myself! otherwise, i wouldn't have done it. i need to give myself space for growth and i can't do that by saying "this is what i am and nothing more." i used to think i was wishy-washy because every time someone asked me my favorite band or favorite movie, the answers always changed but now i believe it's a good thing. some people go on for years saying "this is what i believe and this is what i like" years after they've stopped liking and believing in those things--identity can become a habit. i think it's because, as a society, we have this urgent need to identity with something. democrat, republican; caucasian, hispanic, asian, or other; punk rock, alternative, country, and pop. maybe these are all just labels we are adding onto ourselves and they're labels that only hold us back from new tastes, new cultures, and new experiences. i know i used to say "i like any genre but rap and country" and now i love old country. i just didn't know that johnny cash, john prine, and patsy cline existed and i didn't want to give them a shot but it was because i took a chance, that i discovered them. just something to think about.