today in class, we discussed domestic violence. an alarming statistic was the 1 in 4 women will experience DV in their lifetime. i looked around the room and thought, that's not going to be me. but then, i looked at the wheel and the definition of different types of DV and i realized that i have actually experienced it already.

another realization that i had is that one of my friends is an abuser and another one of my friends is being abused and doesn't know it. Marshall (not his real name) has revealed to me that he hit his last girlfriend after they broke up. he called her several demeaning names as well. he has told me on other occasions that if he ever saw a certain woman, he would kill her. he has even shown abuse toward me in that he has told me to go get him beer and make him a sandwich while i was a guest in his home and has called me "woman" on many occasions. he has an odd sense of humor and sarcasm so i've let it slide many times for that reason. he even told me yesterday that men can get married whenever they want but that women are losing their options. we argued over that one--that's for sure. sometimes i accept that "this is the way he is," but NOW i realize that it's not okay. Marshall ALWAYS comments on women and their looks; really rude and demeaning comments. He says a lot of negative comments about lesbians and basically hates them because he doesn't have a chance with them. He has told me that MOST women hate him and I told him it was obvious why. He makes really rude statements to their faces.

my other friend, Ashley (not her real name), has told me about her boyfriends severe jealousy. they are both that way but he definitely isolates her. she told me she couldn't come to my bday because her bf couldn't come and he won't let her go anywhere without him! i know i should approach her about this issue but i'm so angry with her. she's always put guys before me and has not been a consistent friend. on top of that, she didn't wish me a happy birthday and she didn't attend. she also experienced abuse from Marshall when he texted her and told her that she was "useless because she got knocked up and guys are only with her because she's easy." This is the REASON that i stopped talking to Marshall altogether.

I'm kind of upset about this realization today but I know it's better to KNOW than to be ignorant about these issues.