when your life starts resembling a woody allen movie, you're probably doing something wrong. on that note, i had this crazy dream last night. i was confronted by kristie and her friend for becoming friends with someone she hated and despised. it was herself. i was friends with her. but the good version of her (if one exists). the evil kristie was furious that i would befriend the "good" kristie. i put "good" in quotations for the simple fact that it's highly unlikely that she has a good bone in her body. however, i interpreted this as me protecting what i once viewed kristie to be--this good, kind-hearted, fun loving and loyal friend. the evil kristie is the REAL kristie and she can't stand the idea of me being friends with this "good" kristie. maybe it's because she knows she could never be this girl--never compete with this kristie in my head. she always tried to let me see only the "good side" of herself and now that she's realized i only like this "good side" and not the real her, she can't take it. it was very trippy but symbolic nonetheless.

you can get rid of people but these strange bits and pieces always seem to linger. why is that? do we cause this or is it just inevitable? i threw away all the pictures, all the memories, anything that once reminded me of kristie was tossed out years ago. yet...there are those things you can't get rid of like the memories that come into your mind when you see a place you've once been together or a song you both loved. in time, all of that fades away--i forgot about kristie until robbie came back into the picture for a brief and fleeting moment. you can delete people from your life and you should but you can never really erase them so what's the use? i'm still facebook friends with a guy who tried to take advantage of me in my drunken stupor. someone i once considered a best friend and he probably checks my page if he cares because it's the only link bonding us. it's the only form of one-way communication. two-way communication is out of the question. what would it do to block him? nothing. he wouldn't see my statuses or know what i'm up to. i could shut him out, sure but, in one way or another i'm sure he'd find a way to get the information. if you really want it, you'll find a way.