it's funny how one person can make you forget about another person. on that note, another person can make you forget about that person. here's to a long journey of forgetting about people. just as someone can bring out the best in you...they can bring out the worst in you. i guess that's what happens when emotions get involved and when expectations are being set. one minute you feel the most free you've ever felt and in the blink of an eye, you feel so trapped inside yourself that you feel like you'll never escape. i hate feeling guilty for being myself...for saying the things i say and doing the things i do. there are a lot of guys who make me feel good about myself but i don't let any of them in. maybe that's a habit i need to change before i end up alone. no one can live a life without expectations yet expectations are what cause arguments. when you turn on your car in the morning, you expect it to function. when you put a burger on the grill, you expect it to cook. the same is true with relationships, when you invest a lot in someone--you expect the same in return. but that's not always the case and that's when the problems start. i mean you have to have expectations, right? if someone you don't know betrays you...well, you expected that. but if someone you've known for years betrays you, it hurts like the pain of a thousand daggers. why? because you didn't expect them to do something that would hurt you so deeply. it would be nice to live without expectations, however, completely unrealistic. when you care about someone, you expect more of them and when they let you down, you doubt yourself. why didn't you see that they were like everyone else? why did you trust them? that's why emotions can be a problem--you let yourself live in the moment and you end up regretting it because when that moment is up, you realize that was all it was--a moment. those moments soon turn into vague memories and all you're left with is a another piece of the past. as if you didn't already have enough of that to last you a lifetime... i just need something in the future i can hold on to. something that will last.