it's so exhausting trying to hold on to the dream of something you've never had. the comfort and security of a guy you can trust. a companionship and friendship that is completely unshakable. the ultimate friend and more. but it's just something i think about from time to time. more so when i see other people who have it. but i'm learning to be content without it and that's going to be a long process at this rate. i don't need the marriage label but it'd be nice to have a person you were at least considering for the position. it just seems to me that it's harder for me to like someone than it is for most. it takes a lot, which is why i don't see it happening...for awhile at least.