as the new year begins, i feel compelled to discuss things that i have learned and ways in which i have grown over the past year. there have been many new beginnings: a new internship, a new career path, a masters program, a couple of newborn relationships & a resuscitated one and a few endings: my undergraduate career at the school for communications, the exodus of a certain man, my passion for film direction.

i've tried things i never thought i'd try, i've said things the old me might not have dared to say and i feel like i'm ending the year one year older and wiser.

there are a few things that i'm still learning: letting go of the anger, the bitterness. i'm learning to create my own closure and not to forfeit my happiness for anyone. i'm learning to give more without giving everything. i'm learning that friendship is still just as important to me as it ever was only i'm putting all of my friendships into perspective this time around. i'm learning that not everyone deserves a second chance, or even a first. i'm learning that i still have a part of me that wants to see the good in people aside from my extremely cynical nature. i'm learning that death puts things into perspective quite instantaneously. i'm learning that it's okay to change and it doesn't mean that you're not reliable or that you are becoming someone else, but rather, that you are becoming who you were destined to become.

i've seen a lot of good things happen to those i love. i've also seen tragedy strike in their lives. i feel like i can honestly say that i've been there for those of them that needed me when they needed me even if it feels like some of us have grown apart. it doesn't matter that we don't hang out with the same type of friends, or listen to the same music, or have anything in common anymore really...because at the end of the day, i've had friends who were fun, carefree, had a million things in common with me and they're not the ones who are going to be there for them when i need them. it hasn't been an easy year but certainly a better year than the last and i hope that pattern continues.