You don't need strength to let go of something. What you really need is understanding.” --Guy Finley

recently i've been having recurring dreams of friends i've lost in the past. it's lead me to want to reconnect with a particular person that has made it clear he wants nothing to do with me now. it's kind of a hard pill to swallow.

friendship is the art of choosing to embrace someone for everything they are and everything they aren't. you can't force anyone to be friends with you. they must make that choice and we have to learn to cope with whatever choice it is that they make. sure we can cope with anger or sadness but what good will that do us in the end? it will leave us not only rejected but also in a state of despair. maybe we need to rejoice in the fact that those people chose not to waste our time any longer because clearly they didn't appreciate us enough to stick around. at the end of the day, we all have some pretty amazing friends who choose to embrace us and maybe instead of focusing on what we've lost, we should focus on what we still have.

a friend was telling me about a girl who he was best friends with 5 years a go. she was close to him at that point but after a couple of years, she moved and got into the adult entertainment industry. she dissapeared. recently she called him and refered to him as her best friend. said she was thinking about him recently during a dark time in her life. he said he by no means considered her his best friends as they hadn't had contact in over 5 years (although they once were close) but that it was flattering that she would think of him when things were dark. he was her light in the darkness if you will. advice i gave him is as follows: a true friend isn't one who remembers you in times of darkness and hopelessness. a true friend is one that remembers you in the good times as well. they reach out to you when life is good and when it is bad not just when they need a shoulder to lean on.

the friend i've been thinking about was a good friend at times and certainly a bad friend at times. but after a year of not talking he only reached out to me when his situation was really bad and that right there has to tell me something. now that things are going seemingly well, there's no need for me i guess...it's as if he opened up to me, could finally be himself and he just chose to shut me out. why open up to someone if you're just going to shut them out in the end?