i'm getting the strangest feeling that i long to be vulnerable in front of someone i really care about. i think i just felt for so long that i had to be strong, especially in front of a guy who expected me, as a woman, to be the weaker one. but i realize that we all need to experience this vulnerability at some point in our lives and it doesn't mean we're weak--just that we have the need as humans to connect on a deeper level. i know i'm a deep person but with most people, my depth is fairly shallow. i exude a false depth because most of the girls they meet have the depth of a puddle. i'm just myself but i'm not who i long to be. i don't trust any of them but that doesn't change the fact that i wish i could. my heart isn't made of steel--it's more of a semi-hard ceramic. but why is it that the only time i can be honest about my feelings is in my dreams? i may be cynical but i don't think my subconscious ever gave up on love.