I can't help but feel like an idiot when everyone around me could see he had ulterior motives but me. even a guy who met him once and told me that night that william wasn't to be trusted KNEW what i didn't about him. all my friends....everyone really; even people i barely knew told me to stop talking to him but for whatever reason it is, i always tried to see the best in him; tried to defend him. i guess it's kind of like keeping a lion for a pet. it might seem like a good idea after it's eaten and resting but when it wakes up and is hungry again, you're dinner....i feel like i'm describing a serial killer but the scary part is that the analogy really fits. i think it says a lot about how i perceive him. i always saw the signs and symptoms of someone who had a lot of issues...issues that i tried but couldn't fix as a friend. he had allegedly raped a girl and had been in a physical domestic dispute with his last girlfriend and i always thought our relationship was different and that the last thing he wanted to do was hurt me in any way because he always said i was the only girl he ever cared about--i thought he cared about me as a friend but it turned out it was more than that. more than i wanted. texting him and communicating with him last night was a mistake. luckily, he was non-responsive but i can't afford to open myself up to that kind of abuse anymore. i can without a doubt say that throughout our friendship, he sexually harassed me; touched me inappropriately without warrant and no matter how many times i reprimanded his behavior, he continued. i should have known then that he wasn't a good friend or a good person but you see what you want to see sometimes. you have blinders on because you deeply care about someone and see the brokenness and the pain they've gone through. you take on this healer or savior persona but the truth is that you could never be anyone's savior--you can't even save yourself. all you can do is love people and hope they don't hurt you.