sometimes letting people go is the best thing for you but knowing that it doesn't make it any easier.

i was looking through old files on my computer when i discovered old aim messages and emails william and i had sent to each other. i even found an email he sent to my sister telling her that he was in love with me. this was sent after we hadn't spoken for a year. he said he missed me and that the reason we weren't talking was because i was prideful and stubborn. i wonder if he thinks that's why we're not talking now. if he does believe that, he's sadly mistaken. how could anyone be friends with someone who tried to take advantage of them? someone who had ulterior motives throughout their entire friendship and was never up front about it? i called him out on his odd behaviors several times, even in the messages i sent him, yet his behavior continued. clearly to the point of spiraling out of control. i think if he had been up front about liking me i would have stopped being friends with him earlier on so it would have never ended up like this. i'd rather mutually discontinue a friendship rather than ending up resenting each other like we did. i think he hates me because he feels rejected and i hate him because i feel violated and disrespected...only i don't....i don't hate him. i think it's disappointment. a feeling i'm unfortunately quite familiar with when it comes to friendships. i give everything i've got until they've bled me dry and then they turn their backs on me. i think in my friendships, i've always acted as a mirror. when people look at me, they see who they truly are and they hate it because some of them are evil at the core. i show them their reflection and it scares them so they run from me. they run back to the people who will tell them what they want to hear, let them live a lie. those are the kinds of friends they'd rather surround themselves with.