i wish that shitty people didn't exist but they do and, as good people, we can't let them infiltrate. there are people in this world that see you for the good person that you are and try to take advantage of that. i can't be anyone's savior and i can't be everyone's friend. there just aren't enough hours in the day to help everyone, nor do i have the patience. but for the people who already are in my life--and have entrusted me with much personal information, i do my very best. i said something today that surprised even me. celine said,"You should be friends with more people like me, people who have their shit together." and my response was,"People like you don't want to be friends with me because they have their shit together and they don't need my help." i know i'm an extremely interesting person and have what i consider a great personality but then why do i feel like people only want to be my friend to use me in a way--to get help or gain stability? maybe they don't plan it that way, maybe they're just drawn to me like moths to a flame because of my outward display of stability and strength. i'm just starting to realize that i can't solve everyone's problems and i'm not supposed to. i can only give them the tools they need to solve their own problems and then let them go. giving advice is only a temporary fix.

as my friend edit goes through highs and lows with this guy, i see how lost i was a year a go or even months a go. how i had lost myself and my own value in a sea of crazed confusion. all the advice i give edit is advice i am giving myself as well. i see all the mistakes shes making--the same ones i made and i can't help but transfer my own feelings onto her. i know what shes going through. seems like i go through it all the time. people can be so cunning and manipulative in this world. the only way to protect yourself is to know your strengths and to master your weaknesses. don't let them get a foothold. don't let them get in through the door by feeding off of your weaknesses.