why do we as people feel the need to belong so badly? acceptance the crack of our generation and everyone is walking around faded. fading faces in fading crowds. i'm always on the outside looking in. sometimes wishing i could be on the inside but realizing that every time i'm inside, i want to get out. it's suffocating and tiring to be trapped into a certain persona that pleases people. i can stick my finger up at the world but then i'll just be the asshole like usual. the rebel who gets defensive about being left out and stops giving a shit because giving a shit takes a lot out of me and i have nothing left to give. i feel like i'm back in high school and i hated being in high school. i wanted to disappear and i did. sometimes i want to disappear now but then people talk to me and i can't get away from it all. it's easier to walk into a room where you don't know anyone because there are no expectations. no expectations to strike up and conversation or say hello. you can just walk in and walk out. but once you invest and people know of you, you're forced to talk or you'll be an antisocial asshole who thinks they're better than everyone. why can't i just be a fly on the wall? either completely ignore me or be my best friend--there is no in between with me.