i'm putting together a big turkey day potluck feast with my friends the day after thanksgiving. i really am thankful for all the people in my life but it's also going to be sad to look around and see the people who won't be sitting at that table. one person in particular. he's the first person i would have invited...it's just harder than we think sometimes...to let go. it's easy to say "that person has done bad things to us and is a bad person" but it's hard to actually accept it. i need the people around that table to remind me that--because that's exactly what they do. they remind me that i have a lot of good people in my life now. having good people in your life makes the bad ones stand out like the sorest thumb in the world. you realize what you didn't have with the others.

i think one day when i look back on my life all these things will make more sense. they make sense now but sometimes i think it's my pride that won't let me forgive and forget. i'm hoping the future will show me that it wasn't that at all. that the people who are gone are gone for the best and there's a reason for all the pain that comes from letting go.